you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
