I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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