Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.

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  (870): These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American. http://tfl.nu/c8e4
  Replies (15) Good night (4146) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes

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  (416): she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/kujh
  Replies (15) Good night (1068) Bad night (4572)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for

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  (304): She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for http://tfl.nu/s392
  Replies (19) Good night (3809) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

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  (920): We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy http://tfl.nu/hjxb
  Replies (31) Good night (5749) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.

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  (323): She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine. http://tfl.nu/16u8
  Replies (4) Good night (2007) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend

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  (312): Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend http://tfl.nu/fw95
  Replies (7) Good night (1656) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?

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  (305): Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can? http://tfl.nu/kckv
  Replies (2) Good night (1553) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.

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  (814): Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone. http://tfl.nu/n7df
  Replies (4) Good night (2531) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  ....this is what your political science major is getting you?

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  (405): New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot. (580): ....this is what your political science major is getting you? http://tfl.nu/c72s
  Replies (8) Good night (2281) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan

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  (717): I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan http://tfl.nu/f98a
  Replies (14) Good night (2257) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth

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  (405): Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth http://tfl.nu/55g6
  Replies (0) Good night (983) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  At least that would be something.

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  (606): I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting. (1-606): At least that would be something. http://tfl.nu/23qn
  Replies (4) Good night (718) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see

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  (519): I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on (226): Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see http://tfl.nu/q9aq
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die

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  (804): if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die http://tfl.nu/oqzi
  Replies (1) Good night (396) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.

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  (320): I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber. http://tfl.nu/s2ek
  Replies (4) Good night (406) Bad night (243)

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