I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
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im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
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So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.