Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
