Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid

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  (610): oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid http://tfl.nu/g7bt
  Replies (6) Good night (2342) Bad night (578)
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  (310): View more from California

  Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?

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  (310): Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck (312): Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to? http://tfl.nu/odqf
  Replies (72) Good night (2155) Bad night (9306)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.

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  (630): but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/k5cc
  Replies (17) Good night (573) Bad night (4821)
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  (628): View more from California

  i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me

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  (628): i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me http://tfl.nu/vt02
  Replies (40) Good night (2189) Bad night (4845)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.

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  (914): I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day. http://tfl.nu/x5t9
  Replies (20) Good night (3631) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...

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  (330): Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late... http://tfl.nu/fji7
  Replies (5) Good night (3443) Bad night (909)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"

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  (202): we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious" http://tfl.nu/kvms
  Replies (4) Good night (3127) Bad night (697)
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  (760): View more from California

  I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore

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  (760): I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore http://tfl.nu/3q10
  Replies (7) Good night (692) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh 

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  (773): Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh  http://tfl.nu/ikbu
  Replies (3) Good night (766) Bad night (1511)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.

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  (802): All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right. http://tfl.nu/z8z5
  Replies (2) Good night (793) Bad night (337)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.

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  (908): i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real. http://tfl.nu/55e2
  Replies (0) Good night (549) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.

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  (519): Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice. http://tfl.nu/3hl9
  Replies (11) Good night (677) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.

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  (832): Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead. http://tfl.nu/yr8v
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him

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  (909): I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him http://tfl.nu/7k0m
  Replies (0) Good night (387) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face

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  (+49): She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face http://tfl.nu/bw7v
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (301)

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