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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend

  (301): View more from Maryland

  1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off

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• 

  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care

  (315): View more from New York

  I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  so like

  (705): View more from Ontario

  i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone

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• (510): View more from California

  Are you drunk already?

  (415): View more from California

  Not already - at LAST.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him

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