Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.

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  (202): if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision. http://tfl.nu/8vkq
  Replies (2) Good night (906) Bad night (856)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.

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  (845): i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie. http://tfl.nu/9q37
  Replies (6) Good night (2261) Bad night (621)
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  (858): View more from California

  Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.

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  (858): Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star. http://tfl.nu/4wpn
  Replies (27) Good night (2961) Bad night (724)
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  (914): View more from New York

  last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.

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  (914): last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever. http://tfl.nu/26l9
  Replies (23) Good night (7251) Bad night (880)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.

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  (810): I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years. http://tfl.nu/10l8
  Replies (10) Good night (2306) Bad night (1005)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.

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  (425): the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem. http://tfl.nu/jjmu
  Replies (45) Good night (2665) Bad night (7222)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.

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  (907): You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn. http://tfl.nu/73y5
  Replies (6) Good night (2357) Bad night (1119)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.

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  (903): I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up. http://tfl.nu/rp3b
  Replies (9) Good night (2407) Bad night (1138)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?

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  (770): He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days? http://tfl.nu/yt8d
  Replies (12) Good night (1346) Bad night (544)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it

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  (503): Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it http://tfl.nu/r81k
  Replies (14) Good night (3361) Bad night (621)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work

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  (613): He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work http://tfl.nu/ow4z
  Replies (9) Good night (540) Bad night (1089)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.

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  (360): I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line. http://tfl.nu/9tdh
  Replies (2) Good night (361) Bad night (888)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.

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  (832): I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came. http://tfl.nu/1nw4
  Replies (8) Good night (970) Bad night (416)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

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  (503): I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20. http://tfl.nu/9ljc
  Replies (6) Good night (1511) Bad night (420)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"

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  (716): Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins" http://tfl.nu/papm
  Replies (5) Good night (592) Bad night (320)

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