At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The air taste purple.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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