i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
