did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
