Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
