i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
