Do you still have your period?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
