So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
