your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
