why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
