it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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