Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
