I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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