Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
