nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
