dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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