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you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
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