i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
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I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
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That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.