it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
