it was like his penis was on wheels.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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