Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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