Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
