i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
