It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
