The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
