Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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