Where did you get a picture of my penis
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
