it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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