I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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