Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
