he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
