I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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