Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You're so nebulous sometimes
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
BRING THE BAGELS
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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