Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
