You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
