I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
