This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
