i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
