oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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