no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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