my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
