It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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