so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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