You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
