Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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