i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
