So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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