Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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