How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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