Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
