Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
