Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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