Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
