Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
