i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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