think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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