Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
