If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
