just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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