Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You have to summon your inner elephant
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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