Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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