honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
