Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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