Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
